Life in a Clock with a Robot and some Zoni
by SLTheOneAndAwesome
Summary: Crappy title is crap!  A series of drabbles taking place in a headcanon where Klunk replaces Clank in the Great Clock.  KlunkxSigmund.  Not to be taken too seriously.
1. A Plot Begins

"Sigmund, why are you so determined to get this device to function?" Klunk groaned as he looked up at the machine his companion was hunched over. His partner had insisted that these touch ups would only take a few minutes and now the pair were far behind their daily schedule. "How will it enhance our performance in the Great Clock's maintenance?" He didn't recognize the machine that the taller robot was working on. In fact, judging by the plates of metal that didn't seem to match one another, it looked like the other robot had built it himself. His eyes brightened at this realization. Klunk, himself, was completely incompetent when it came to contraptions and was always impressed with Sigmund's accomplishments. They weren't as great as Dr. Nefarious's creations, but for a robot designed for janitorial work, Sigmund was not too bad with machines.

"It'll be a surprise!" Sigmund insisted as he connected a pair of wires together. "I hope it'll work."

"I'm sure it will perform its purpose phenomenally." Klunk encouraged, now curious about the machine. What did Sigmund need that he had felt the need to build this device himself?

Sigmund tightened a few more bolts and exclaimed, "I think that should do it." he pointed to a red button on the device and asked, "Do you want to do the honours?"

"I suppose, if it pleases you." Klunk reached up for the button and pressed it. There was a flash of light, but nothing seemed to change otherwise. "Did you crisscross some wires?" Klunk asked as he tipped his head at the device, waiting to see if its reaction was delayed.

"Nope! It worked perfectly!"

"What do you-" Klunk turned around to stare at a slate gray coloured Lombax grinning at him. "You _did not_." Klunk's eyelids narrowed in irritation.

"Don't worry. It's just a hologram!" the Lombax spoke with Sigmund's voice, his yellow eyes squinting in his excitement.

"I was led to believe that this form was limited to your imagination in the mnemonic chamber."

"Forms." Klunk was about to ask what that was supposed to mean when he looked down at his hands and realized they were five fingered, furred hands. He let out a deep breath, willing to tolerate it for Sigmund's sake. The other robot began explaining, "That's the cool bit! The machine reads my frequency and projects the holograms onto us. Isn't it neat? I connected it to the Clock's systems, so the holograms can go anywhere. Awesome, right?"

"May I ask where this obsession of yours with Lombaxes spawned from? Perhaps I could use the Orvus Chamber to go back in time and erase this factor."

Sigmund blinked for a moment, but Klunk's hologram's eyes rolled, giving the other robot a hint that he was kidding about the Orvus Chamber bit.

"But in all seriousness, is there some sort of psychological reasoning for this, or are you simply curious about organic life, since you are not acquainted to it?"

"You don't hear me asking you why you _hate_ organics so much. Why do I have to have a reason for being interested in them?"

Klunk simply pouted, knowing that his fellow Clock Caretaker was right, but at the same time he truly did not want to have this hologram operating. He had agreed to performing tasks in the mnemonic chamber in Lombax appearance to appease Sigmund, he did not want to sacrifice his robot form outside of the chamber as well. He could barely tolerate communicating with Sigmund while his partner looked like this, he did not want to have to live with it as well.

"Fine. I will respect your strange affixation with Lombaxes if you tolerate my dislike for them." Klunk pressed the button on the device and both of their holograms dissipated.

"I suppose that's fair." Sigmund sighed. "But I think you have to get over it eventually, Klunk. We work here to protect the universe. The _whole_ universe. Including the organics."

"I believe I'm more than fair enough to the squishies. I _do _let them live."

"Well, it's good to know your sense of humour's been developing."

"I have a _wonderful_ sense of humour." Klunk insisted. He began making his way out of the room, "We're far behind for today's schedule. We will have to split the work if we would like to get it done quickly. I will go wind the Time Keepers. Be sure to recalibrate the system and clean out the orientation room as well."

As the smaller robot stepped out of the door Sigmund turned back to the machine he had just finished, tipping his head sadly at how Klunk had rejected it. He glanced quickly at the door, double checking to make sure that his companion was gone. Sigmund pressed the button on the device and stated, "I hope you have a real good sense of humour." He grinned down at his hands, projected as the five fingered hands of a Lombax, before he set out to work.


	2. Closure

"Ratchet, do you really wish to come with me on this visit? I only need to speak with Sigmund for a moment." A diminutive robot asked as his Lombax companion piloted their ship towards the large structure that loomed ahead of them.

"What, I can't come visit him? We worked together to fix the darn place, remember? I'm sure he wouldn't mind me coming in to say hi." The Lombax pointed out, giving a sort of miffed expression at his partner's suggestion. What was wrong with him going to the Great Clock with his pal to visit the robot they had left in charge of the place? It was almost as if he wanted to keep him away!

"It is not what you think. I am trying to offer you the most preferable option."

"What, you afraid Sigmund's gonna kill me with one pun too many?"

"Not quite."

Ratchet opened his mouth, ready to demand an explanation when the ship jolted the as it landed.

The hatch of the ship opened up, permitting the two to exit. Ratchet quickly hoped out of the ship, but his robot companion was still lingering inside.

"C'mon Clank, what's wrong now?"

"I believe Sigmund has been experimenting with the optical receivers in the Clock."

"What makes you say that?"

Instead of a robot immerging from the ship, a metallic gray furred Lombax popped out of the hatch. "I believe this is reason enough." The Lombax spoke with Clank's voice.

Ratchet's eyes grew wide with surprise before he broke into a fit of laughter. "I guess he took the whole "Ratchet's the last Lombax in the universe" bit to heart, eh?"

"I do not believe that was his motive in this."

"Really? Then what could it be?" Now's Ratchet's face melded into curiosity, but the smaller Lombax shook his head.

"I suppose he has the right to do whatever he pleases since I left, but this still seems quite ridiculous."

"Tell me about it." the pair turned around to see that their ship had also been replaced with a Lombax, this one much more female in appearance.

"Whoa, Aphelion makes a hot Lombax." Ratchet insisted, his eyes focused on her rather large chest.

"Remember Talwyn is waiting for us in the Nundac Asteroid." Clank grabbed Ratchet and tugged him towards the entrance to the Clock. He needed to talk to Sigmund about this fixation of his with Lombaxes that he had developed upon meeting Ratchet. He was aware that Sigmund had hardly any company in the Clock, especially not organic company, but this still seemed too much

The two passed throught the orientation room where a Lombax was sprawled on the couch, the HV screen on and playing My Blaster Runs Hot to distract the multitude of Zoni crowded around the couch. The Lombax's appearance was strikingly similar to Clank's, excluding different markings and a pair of red eyes.

"Sigmund?" Ratchet guessed, assuming that the Caretaker would also be in a Lombax form.

The Lombax on the couch sat up and glared at Ratchet, "No, you idiotic squishy, I am obviously not Sigmund. You would think you could separate the appearances of two strikingly different robots." He blinked and gave Ratchet a face, "What are you even doing here? Where is my squishy loving double? Aren't you two attached to the hip, or are my sources incor-" he stared at the Lombax hologram standing next to Ratchet and suddenly his amused face turned into one of pure outrage.

"I cannot believe he… SIGMUND!" he yelled loudly before leaping off of the couch and storming out of the room.

"Huh, wonder what that was all about. And who was that anyways?" Ratchet asked as he watched the other Lombax break into a sprint out of the door.

"Ratchet, that was obviously Klunk." While Ratchet simply gave Clank an even more confused look, the robot added, "I wonder why he is here."

Ratchet shrugged, "Well, let's go find Sigmund and find out."

-3-3-3-

"You promised you would respect me!" Klunk protested loudly as he yelled at Sigmund. The idiot had done many things before to bother Klunk, but he chose to ignore him, out of the rapidly growing goodness of his heart, and continued to cherish the better aspects of his companion. However, he was simply filled with blistering rage. It was irritating enough that Sigmund had reactivated the machine while he had his back turned, but it just so happened that his double and his squishy pet had seen him in his Lombax hologram.

"I thought it would be funny! You said it yourself, you have a _wonderful_ sense of humour." Sigmund retorted, "I thought this would help you with your organic problems."

"By having me wander around the Clock unaware of the fact that I was not in my robot appearance? Doubtful." Klunk crossed his arms and glared daggers at the other robot, "I am sure you simply wanted to see me outside of the Mnemonic Chamber in my Lombax appearance. I do not understand where this obsession of yours with Lombaxes has spawned from, but you need to cease bringing it up. It is irritating and I am especially frustrated that you continue to insist on it, even when you are completely aware of my dislike for squishies. This is _not _healthy!"

"Klunk, take a chill upgrade. It was a joke. Besides, this way my machine doesn't become a complete waste." Sigmund stated, his Lombax's hologram's mouth stretched into such a wide smile that his cheeks were causing his eyes to squint together.

"I swear to Orvus and every Zoni in this Clock if you don't turn off that contraption and swear to never use it again, I will leave this Clock and never come back."

"You'd never actually do it."

"I had a life before this place."

"Not a good one if you're enjoying yourself so much that you insist on staying here despite how much you say you hate me."

"Stop proving your point!"

Sigmund simply continued to grin, however he turned to his device and pressed the switch on it, causing the holograms to disappear again. "You really need to stop being such a grump and have a little bit of fun. That certainly made one day here more interesting, right? It'll be a story to tell, that's for sure."

Klunk simply gave his partner a sideways glance, but sighed, glad to have his normal, robotic appearance. Besides, this version of Sigmund was much harder to stay angry at.

"Aw, the Lombax appearance was beginning to grow on me." The two turned to see Ratchet and Clank stroll into the room. Clank was staring at his hands, now that they were metallic again.

"Too bad." Ratchet shrugged, "I was finding reasons to like that form too."

"Well, you can look however you like in the Mnemonic Chambers!" Sigmund exclaimed loudly, butting into the other two's conversation. Klunk gave his partner a look, wondering why he wasn't remotely curious as to the arrival of these two. "It reads off your frequency-" he blinked up at Ratchet, "Or I guess in your case your brainwaves, and grants you complete control over the environment. Including changing physical appearance! That's how I came up with the designs for the holograms! They feed off of my frequency."

"I was not aware of this when I used the Mnemonic Chamber." Clank mumbled in thought. "Come along Ratchet, they are quite marvelous. I do not believe you had an opportunity to see them upon your last visit."

Klunk quickly raced to the nearest computer and began typing as quickly as possible. Sigmund appeared at his side and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Making sure the computers attached to the chambers aren't recording. I do not believe anyone in the universe would like to see what those two are doing in there."

Sigmund simply gave him a perplexed look before waving to Ratchet and Clank, "Bye guys! It was nice seeing you again!"

Klunk frowned as much as his mouth plate would permit and stated, "Do you even know why those two are here?"

Sigmund could only shrug, "Nope!"


	3. Seriously Fun to Irritate

**(A/N I recommend reading ****http:/ kirmon64. livejournal .com/2454 .html **(Be sure to remove the spaces)** written by Kirmon64**** first, because it shows what happened between Ratchet and Clank in the Mnemonic Station. Also because Kirmon64 is awesome and you should go check out her stuff.**(Unless you are Kirmon, because that's likely since she seems to be the only person reading this. lol**)**

"They look quite silly in there." Klunk insisted as he stared at Ratchet and Clank in the Mnemonic Chamber, chests pressed together to ensure that they could both fit. He had never seen any two people together in the chamber before and had twisted his wanting to watch them into a need to ensure they didn't cause mayhem in the Clock.

"I'm sure we don't look much better when we're in it." Sigmund pointed out. Klunk ducked his head, giving Sigmund a glare from the corner of his eyes. He was sure that if his mouth plate allowed him to pout he would have been.

"Other than the obvious, what do you believe they are doing in there?" Klunk wondered. He looked at his double's face and noted that it seemed twisted in a saddened horror, rather than the blank, empty face that Sigmund would usually wear when he was alone in the chamber. Sigmund said that he had a similar expression when he was in the chamber alone. What memory could his doppelganger be reliving that was causing him so much misery?

"Well, we'd know if you hadn't shut off the recorders."

"There are certain things I would rather not have in our logs."

"Clank has the same look on his face as he did when Ratchet died." Sigmund pointed out as the robot's face distorted into an even more pained expression. "I wonder why he'd relive that of all things."

"The squishy died?" Klunk's gears started turning as he contemplated this thought. "And Clank used the Clock's abilities to bring him back?" he guessed.

"Uh huh. None of us could remember it, except for Clank. But we still have a recording in the logs and Clank and I talked about it while we were repairing the Clock. I don't think Ratchet's supposed to know."

Pushing aside the pleasure the thought of the dead squishy brought him, Klunk thought about Clank, with his constantly pushing for the good, and how he could have broken the one rule of the Clock. No matter how much of a do-gooder he was he had actually _willingly_ used the Clock. To bring back his squishy pet. The two really were like lovers.

"It must be horrible." Sigmund's voice was surprisingly serious, forcing Klunk out of his thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

"To watch your closest friend die and then go against everything you've just learned and risk the universe in order to bring him back. I'm sure Clank was traumatized by it. That's probably why it was the first thing to pop up when he went into the Mnemonic Chamber."

Before he came to the Clock, Klunk had never had any real attachments to people, making it difficult to sympathize with how his double had felt. However, since his arrival to the Clock many months earlier he had developed an attachment to Sigmund. What if he was put in a situation where he had to watch Sigmund die and be forced to choose whether or not to risk the universe to save him?

Klunk suppressed a shiver, glad to know that situation was incredibly unlikely. It wasn't that the matter of making the choice would be difficult, Klunk was known to be selfish, it was the idea of _having_ to make it. He wouldn't wish that upon any robot, even his squishy loving double.

"You okay Klunk?" Sigmund seemed to have noticed how quiet the other robot had gotten and seemed to realize it was because what he was thinking must have been unsettling.

"Just, do not force _me_ have to make such a decision." Klunk insisted. He reached for Sigmund's ring belt and held onto it tightly for reassurance.

Sigmund grinned down at the smaller robot, "No worries. No lunatic's gonna push me off of the Clock anytime soon."

Klunk turned his head away, slightly embarrassed at his request and pretended to ignore Sigmund's hand covering his own. "Good." He muttered quietly.

"I told you we were going to get stuck!" a voice boomed from the Mnemonic Chamber.

"If you would stop squirming for one moment, I could slip past and then you could exit." Another retaliated.

Klunk and Sigmund snapped apart as they blinked up at Ratchet and Clank who were struggling to get out of the chamber. "You two idiots be careful!" Klunk insisted, crossing his arms in annoyance as he watched the two thrashing about. "I am not going to be held responsible for you damaging the Mnemonic Chamber!"

"Geez, you've gotten bossy since Nefarious dumped you, eh?" Ratchet stated just before he managed to slip out of the chamber and out onto the ground. Clank followed and landed on top of the Lombax.

"Not bossy. I've taken responsibility. And I'll have you know, _I _was the one who refused to go back to the Doctor." Klunk stepped around the two on the ground and inspected the chamber carefully. "Well, I can thank you two for having tested the Mnemonic Stations for me. I won't need to use them for another month."

Sigmund let out a disappointed, "Aw!" which Klunk responded to with as much of a sly grin as his mouth plate would allow. He knew how much Sigmund enjoyed entering his subconscious and controlling his environments. In the chamber he was like a child with a new toy. Now the next time they used this toy would be delayed, the consequences of insisting on that silly hologram generator.

"I've gotta admit, those things are pretty awesome." Ratchet stated as he sat up on the ground. Klunk could only glare at him as he realized that he was still shorter than him even at half of the Lombax's height.

"Indeed." Clank let out a small giggle, "I forgot how _realistic _they could be."

As Ratchet gave his robot partner a mischievous grin Klunk could only shake his head in disgust. "I turned off the recorders for a reason, do not describe whatever the pair of you did in there."

"We weren't planning on it." Ratchet shrugged, only to flash Clank the wide toothed grin of a child who had escaped the consequences of his actions.

Klunk could only groan before asking, "What brings the two of you here anyway?"

Clank's optics turned into a glare as he stated, "I could ask something similar."

"It's been a few years since we were last acquainted. People can change." Klunk insisted. "But if you must know, I followed my creator here in an attempt to find you. I found peace here and when you chose to _abandon _your duties-" Kllunk couldn't help but feel satisfied by the irritation his choice of words had caused his double, "I came to pick up where you left off."

"But, _how_?" Clank asked in slight disbelief, "Only I was granted access to the Orvus Chamber. Even Sigmund cannot enter it on his own."

"Dr. Nefarious had accidentally included the access code to the Orvus Chamber in my sisterboard when he duplicated me from your schematics. Sadly for him, he had not been aware of that when he attempted to infiltrate the Clock." Klunk explained. He had always loved that piece of irony.

Clank could only blink in surprise. "But, Orvus insisted I was the only one to be able to access the Chamber." Again, Klunk couldn't help but relish the slightly saddened look on his double's face as he realized he wasn't as special as he had thought. No matter how much Klunk had softened since his arrival to the Clock, his hate for Ratchet and Clank had only dissipated from a need to kill the pair to a strong hatred.

"Perhaps Orvus had not intended for Nefarious to create me, but once he had, he may have seen me as a solution in case you chose to leave the Clock, as he had predicted. It was a wise move on his part I must say."

"Klunk…" Sigmund hissed and gave him a disappointed look. Klunk felt guilt claw at him for a moment and simply stopped his audio output. He didn't feel guilty insulting his doppelganger, but he didn't like knowing he had upset Sigmund.

"So long as you _do_ protect the Clock." Clank accused.

"Klunk's been great!" Sigmund defended his fellow Caretaker. "I don't know what I'd do without him here!"

Klunk simply beamed up at his partner, hoping his expression emoted his gratitude. "You still have not told us what brings you here." Klunk barely looked at Clank from the corner of his eyes, still keeping himself very much focused on Sigmund.

"Well, when Ratchet and I returned to the Polaris Galaxy, we both agreed that Sigmund needed to be visited as well as any of our other acquaintances here."

"You needed to ensure that Sigmund could be trusted with the Clock on his own?" Klunk guessed.

"I did not say-"

"However you insinuated it. Quite obviously." Klunk was unphased by the glare that Clank gave him. "I am going to assume that my presence in the Clock only enforces that concern, rather than deters it." Klunk turned his hands upward, an attempt at a shrug without shoulders, "I shall allow you to judge me as you see fit. I simply recommend looking to my actions in the present rather than the past."

"You arrived after I left, nearly a year ago?" Clank asked.

"Klunk's been here for three hundred and twenty seven days." Sigmund exclaimed. Klunk stared up at the taller robot, stunned. He had even lost track of how many days he had spent in the Clock.

"I have seen no damage or alterations here, so I shall choose to believe you, for now. However, if there is any damage to the Clock I will hold you responsible."

"I already am responsible, as a Caretaker of the Clock." Klunk pointed out as he watched Clank turn with a huff and make his way out.

"Sigmund. It was pleasant seeing you again." Clank nodded to the second Caretaker. "However, I am afraid that Ratchet and I must be on our way." He continued on his way and Ratchet simply shrugged, a silent apology for Clank's irritated behavior.

"Bye Guys! Feel free to drop by anytime!" Sigmund waved to the pair. Once the two disappeared on their way to their ship Sigmund turned down toward Klunk and saw the satisfied look that crept on to his face. "You and Clank must have had an even worse history than I thought."

"You have _no_ idea." He let out a chuckle, "I forgot that it is so entertaining to annoy him."

Sigmund simply shook his head at the smaller robot.


	4. Strange Guilty Pleasures

**(A/N I think I enjoyed writing this chapter too much. OoC Klunk is too much fun.)**

"So, I think that's everything for today." Sigmund insisted as he stuck a wrench onto his ring belt, staring up at a newly repaired holovision screen. "We finished today's chores pretty quickly, eh?"

"With the exception that we still have not managed to find some sort of entertainment for the Zoni, and I fear they are getting restless." Klunk pointed out. "And you know how they get when they are restless."

"You mean that thing they do when they mess with your head and keep showing you visions to the point that you can't tell what's real and what's not, which is really funny to watch, because you do that thing where the wires in your fiber optic hook up get crossed, even though you said that if I mentioned it again you would personally pull out my processor?"

Klunk's optic lid twitched for a moment before he replied as calmly as he could, "Yes. _That_." He had not even been aware that the Zoni could provide him with visions until that day, and he'd had processing issues with his receivers after his fiber optics had been damaged. Klunk had learned that keeping the hive minded Zoni preoccupied was a priority, unless he wanted to have to reboot his hard drive every other week. It seemed they did not have a similar effect on Sigmund, which was hardly fair.

"We could always let them watch The Little Krullmaid again." Sigmund suggested.

"No. My Blaster Runs Hot is on Blaarg HV tonight and I am not missing it _again_, simply to entertain the Zoni. There must be _something_ else they can do." Klunk crossed his arms as he pondered for a bit, trying to come up with ideas. He was hoping for a good one that didn't require his or Sigmund's participation so that they could watch the holofilm together. "Ooh, how about we teach them baseball!"

"What?"

"Baseball. The sport where one throws a ball to another player holding a bat and he hits it. I know it originated from a rather distant galaxy, but Orvus knew about it."

"No, no. Not that. The fact that you want to watch a movie staring Captain Qwark."

"Well _you_ do not like watching Dallas and Juanita with me."

"I don't think it's funny that the wife always tries to kill the husband."

Klunk let out a chuckle. "It is funny because he is a squishy."

Sigmund rolled his optics before letting out a groan, as was his now frequent response to Klunk's references to his dislike of squishies.

"Do not act surprised."

"That still doesn't explain you liking a movie staring your creator's worst enemy." Sigmund questioned, "Especially with the heavy lack of robot characters."

Klunk shrugged at the other robot, giving him a wide-optic look, "Call it a guilty pleasure, I suppose. Or perhaps I didn't inherit Nefarious's great disdain for the Galactic President. Either way, the action scenes are entertaining enough."

"You enjoy it because of all of the organic characters who die, don't you?" Sigmund gave Klunk an accusing look.

Klunk simply grinned back, "Perhaps."

"So what do you want to do with the Zoni then, if you _must_ watch the movie tonight?"

"Do not mock me." Klunk frowned as Sigmund giggled at him good naturedly. Klunk tried to replicate an organic pout as much as possible, knowing that if it were anyone else laughing at him we would have immediately torn out their processor. His fellow caretaker was the only one immune to his threats.

"I suppose I could set up hoverscotch. That should keep them quiet for a few hours." Sigmund suggested.

"Excellent idea! I shall go find the chalk."

-3-3-3-3-3

As the holovision screen dimmed from the transition from commercial break to returning to the holovid, an astonished look was plastered on Klunk's face.

"Sigmund!" Klunk grabbed the other robot, causing him to eye him oddly. Physical contact was very out of the ordinary for Klunk and exclamatory statements were usually filled with annoyance, not excitement.

"Klunk, are you okay?"

"They have a My Blaster Runs Hot _video game_!" Klunk stated.

"And?" Sigmund tried to express his confusion as much as possible, but Klunk seemed in such a state of euphoria that he didn't notice.

"I _must _have it."

"Klunk…"

"It is the only way to live my dream of blowing up squishies."

Sigmund placed a frustrated hand to his forehead, rubbing in circles as he tried to find the words to express how ludicrous Klunk's request seemed. "I _will_ hold an intervention if you don't get over this bigotry toward organics."

"I had come to believe that we both agreed to ban interventions after the one I held for your Lombax fetish."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that."

"Like we were not supposed to talk about the incident when the Zoni got bored?"

"Touché. Now, if we're done talking about the video game-"

"But I _want it_." Sigmund was now officially weirded out. He had _never_ heard Klunk _whine_.

"We are restricted to a giant clock in the exact center of the universe-"

"Give or take fifty feet." Klunk interjected.

"Where were you expecting to buy a video game console?

"Field trip?" Klunk suggested with his mouth plate wide open in a happy grin.

"You know we can't leave the Clock."

Klunk gave the other robot a disappointed look. "While you have a valid point, I will find a way around this conundrum!" and with that Klunk left the orientation room, leaving a bewildered Sigmund wondering just how much of an influence he was having on the other robot.


End file.
